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tagged #reproductive health #women's rights #Philippines #RH Bill

napalmjoy:

Take note of those that voted for or against the Reproductive Health Bill in the Philippines.


70,073 notes

tagged #women's rights #feminism #violence
“A woman’s worst nightmare? That’s pretty easy. Novelist Margaret Atwood writes that when she asked a male friend why men feel threatened by women, he answered, “They are afraid women will laugh at them.” When she asked a group of women why they feel threatened by men, they said, “We’re afraid of being killed.””

http://www.pbs.org/kued/nosafeplace/articles/nightmare.html (via alullaby)

That sums it up

[trigger warning for the commentary below]

(via erikawithac)

This reminds me of a discussion we had in school, and one girl was talking about living in fear of her safety because she is a girl, and this guy chimed in and was all “It’s hard for guys too! I’m so awkward around girls! It’s embarrassing!” Yeah, not the same thing, exactly?

(via tulletulle)

Wow.

(via kittencoaster)

This reminds me of an article about online (heterosexual) dating that I read a while ago. It listed men’s and women’s worst fears about meeting someone from online. The highest ranked fear that men had was that their date would be fat, whereas the highest ranked fear that women had was that their date would turn out to be violent and kill them. 

I think that says a lot. 

(via kaitg)

Its interesting also that these fears sit subconsciously until woman are asked to exams their responses to men. We women will operate with this fear in mind, the way we protect ourselves, make sure our friends know where we are when we go on a date, words that we use while interacting with men, all in hopes they will not kill us, but simultaneously love us. 

I think bell hooks made a point about this in her series on love. something along the lines of how can women hope to love and receive love from men when at the foundation of our relationships there is this strong fear of men. you can’t build true trust when your foundation is crumbling under you. 

the scariest part is, once you recognize this fear, and face it, how do you address it when there is evidence of “good” men abusing, hurting, and killing women everyday?

(via becomingchichi)

I was in my early 20’s when one of my homegirls broke this down for me.  

I was in a broken relationship, and one of the things was that bugged me at the time was that the girlfriend at the time would freak out whenever I got angry - I never yelled, never throw or hit things, mostly, I just needed some time to cool out.

“Why does she get scared when I’m angry? I’d never hit her!”

“But she doesn’t KNOW that.  She can’t assume that.  Look at how many dudes are out there pulling shit.”

And that stuck with me for a hot minute.  The relationship was broken on so many levels anyway, but that fact still remains, as a man, I can’t fault women for assuming the worst in order to protect themselves, especially how the world’s patriarchy and misogyny rolls.

(via bankuei)

My brain knows that my husband won’t hit me. Really, the logical part of me totally gets that. But when we’re arguing he has to stay on the other side of the room & not yell too loud because my fight or flight instincts have 25+ years of being hard wired that loud = violent & our 11 year relationship isn’t long enough to undo that.

(via karnythia)

I’ve had continual discussions with Tchy about this, and I don’t expect to stop. It’s fair to say that there’s no one in the world that I trust more, and he has been extremely careful with me, but… the fact remains that he leans quite a bit towards the masculine, and this means that that fear is always there. The news of transmasculine folks abusing/raping people doesn’t help that fear any. :(

I’m learning not to apologize for it. It’s not my fault (nor, really, is it his) that I’m scared of dude-type people. But it’s always there. Which is another reason why I get so pissed off when trans men try to make transmisogyny about them.

(via kiriamaya)

men, read all of this please. including the commentary. esp if you consider yourself a Nice Guy.

(via static-nonsense)

This is an incredible thread of responses. I’ve seen this quote before, but not the dialogue that built up around it. The part about loud=violent hits home particularly hard for me.  I am terrified of getting into irl arguments with men, especially when they get loud. It’s always going to sit in the pit of my stomach.

(via mizbingley)

That part resonates for me too, although from a completely different angle. Despite being more terrified of sexual violence than I am of anything other than my own brain, I do not hesitate to yell, confront, get up in the face of, threaten, even hit men twice my size and many times my strength. Faced with a threat of violence from men, I will either imply or state “I dare you to.”

I also, as previously established on this blog, have a death wish.

To me, that encapsulates everything about the violence, especially sexual violence, coded into relationships between men and women in our society: for a woman to assert herself in the face of maleness may require the woman in question (such as me) to be perpetually suicidal.

(via 14kgoldnyc)

Reblogging for commentary. I have been frightened and scared by men being loud with me, even if I don’t think they’ll be violent. Like people have said above, it’s just a latent response in your brain to fear violence from men.

I went out to dinner with someone a couple of weeks ago (LONG story, was supposed to be a group dinner but it ended up just being me & a strange man) and I told him I blogged about feminism and politics, and he went off on me. He told me feelings were bullshit and women just wanted special privileges, and then he said, “Women don’t give men enough credit for not  being violent psychopaths. That’s what we are, deep down. We want to rape and pillage, and we don’t, and women don’t give us enough credit for that.” I burst into tears. That shit was terrifying.

(via stfuconservatives)

I’ll always reblog this when it comes across my blog with different commentary! It’s all important!

(via everythingbutharleyquinn)

I referenced this quote in a discussion I was having with a teacher a few weeks ago. He shifted uncomfortably and didn’t say anything for a few minutes, then told me “I couldn’t write like that in an essay.”

The truth hurts, huh.

(via gtfothinspo)

14K and I are twins because I will not hesitate to answer a physical threat from a man. It’s a built-in response from years of watching my mother get hurt that I WOULD NOT go down so gently.

And even with non-physical responses. I don’t let anyone in, I don’t lean on anyone, I don’t trust anyone because damnit I will not let myself go through what she did. And I’m definitely a “I’ll hurt you before you hurt me” kinda person.

Therapy’s making it better, but these ingrained fight or flight defensive mechanism aren’t uncommon.

(via nanner)

I too am reblogging this for the amazing commentary. 

When supposed feminist ally men deny this very basic, simple truth - that’s how you know they are an ally to no one.

This all gets taught to women at a very young age, how dangerous the world is when you’re in it being a woman. I’ve been struggling to write about something that happened with my daughter a few weeks ago, how to form the words, but this is possibly the best context.

We were in the wine shop, in line to pay, and she was so excited to get her lollipop (in the time honored tradition of wine stores everywhere). A man two people ahead of us started fighting with the woman behind the counter about how much money he’d given her. As I was moving her behind my body, my daughter froze, and when I say froze, I mean wasn’t moving a muscle except to shake.

It sorted itself out pretty quickly. We paid and left.

Once we got back into the car, she started crying. I asked her what was the matter, and she said, “Mama, I was so scared. When men get angry they shoot people.”

That’s a direct quote. When men get angry, they shoot people.

I asked her, “baby, why do you think that?” She replied, “on NPR, that’s what happens. When men get really mad they kill people. That guy was really mad, what if he had a gun? What would you do?”

The talk we had afterwards was difficult; no one said parenting was easy. But this is the life we live as women. If my 9 year old understands it, then men of the world, alleged feminist allies, Nice Guys, random douches on the street, and even actual non-dangerous men: so can you.

(via someauthorgirl)

I cant take men posturing me. Or getting loud with me. Fight or flight kicks in. And, like karny, ima be as far away as possible while talking if im feelin some kinna way. I have every reason to respond that way. We all do. Its the norm for us to incur the wrath of men. (via bad-dominicana)

Reblogging for the truth in this thread.  There are two men in my life who I know will never hit me.  One is my dad, the other is a guy I’ve come to consider my brother.  Everyone else, if you do anything that implies any sort of threat to my person, fight or flight will kick in because that’s what I’ve been taught.  And, if I feel like I can take you in a fight, I will not stop until you’re immobile on the ground because then you can’t come after me when I run away.

Sorry, dudebros, but that’s how it is.  I’ve seen some fucked-up shit happen to my female friends at the hands of Nice Guys(tm) and I refuse to let that happen to me.

(via secretlyscully)

As a man, I think the best thing I can do here is repost this for all of my followers to see and learn from.

(via religiousragings)

You know, this makes me think that this is partly the reason why I always tense up and/or dissociate when my dad talks to me. Because I’ve absorbed this message too. Well, besides that my dad is emotionally abusive. Even once when I annoyed my boyfriend-who would never hurt me in any way-I freaked out when he said he was annoyed at me and it took me awhile to figure why I was so unsettled before I could talk to him about it. Ugh, I hate the world.

(via littlelionheartedavatar)

every time i see this post, i see so much more commentary that resonates with me. all these thoughts and feelings from so many people is really… well, it’s validating, because for so long i thought i was crazy for being afraid.

i had to have a hard conversation with someone i’m (sorta) dating recently, and i was scared to death. i was literally afraid for my safety and for my life. same thing as karn — stood on the other side of the room, though that wasn’t far, and up next to the door jamb with my hand on the knob, because even though i didn’t want to believe anything bad would happen… well, you know.

loud men scare me, angry men scare me, physically intimidating-looking men scare me shitless — all of these things make me feel like there is an imminent threat that i have to escape from, and that is so messed up, so very fucked up, and knowing i’m not the only one makes me feel—

it makes me feel human.

(and you know, i can’t help thinking about all the MRAs and dudebros reading this and missing the entire fucking point of how frightening this shit is for us, and how fucked up is it that that is all i can think about when responding to thoughts like these, and when voicing my own fear of hostility, perceived or otherwise, because deep in my neural net, it’s all the same fucking thing. most of y’all scare the shit out of me, and i feel like so many of the people reading this aren’t even going to give a second thought as to why that might be, and that shit is scary too.)


9,761 notes

tagged #reproductive health #women's rights #childbirth #employment #seriously guys i live in a developing country and women get paid maternity leave here #america

panasonicyouth:

stfuconservatives:

bookling-stormborn:

bitchslap-barbie:

stfuconservatives:

amberlysays:

girlwithalessonplan:

wiinga:

stfuconservatives:

Hey, American uterus owners: want to be completely put off by the idea of ever procreating? Then read this expose in the NY Post about how many women have gotten screwed by our country’s Stone Age maternity leave policies.

In Canada, you get 50 weeks of paid maternity leave. In England, you get 20 weeks paid. In Mexico, 12 paid. As a matter of fact, 178 countries around the world mandate paid leave for creating a totally new human. In America? Twelve weeks, unpaid, and only if you’ve worked for the company for at least a year, and only if your company has more than 50 employees. And they *technically* have to give you your job back, but as this article proves, your employer can probably find a way around that.

So hey, pro-lifers: where are your voices on this? Where are your rallies and signs to support new moms, instead of expecting ones? Where is there a single pro-life legislator fighting to make it easier to have a baby and keep your job? Where are the “family values” politicians when it comes to actually having a child and raising it?

Going through this right now. Why can’t I have a baby AND a job?

Yep.

Sorry. This pro-lifer is too busy caring about the murder of babies to spend time getting you free money for not working. Its funny how the same people who grouse about men making more or getting promoted sooner have no issues with giving a woman a very long, extended paid vacation after birth but you don’t hear them campaigning for the fathers to have those same benefits. 

Hey guys, check it out: pro-lifers want to force you to have a baby, but begrudge you an “extended paid vacation” and “free money for not working” to take care of it.

Like, this is so fucking ridiculous I cannot even. Babies are being murdered and daddies aren’t getting paid time off, you guys, so mothers shouldn’t get a free vacation!!!11

PRO-LIFERS DO NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU. THEY ONLY CARE THAT YOU ARE FORCED TO CARRY A FETUS TO TERM. After you leave the hospital, they don’t give two shits about the quality of your life OR the baby’s. I hope everyone realizes that by now.

Hey, pro-birth person. Because that’s what you all do - get that baby born somehow, someway, no matter if you have to use coercion and misinformation, no matter if you’re treating the woman like a uterus and not a real, full person. And when that baby is born and the mom is poor and needs help (which is why she came to you in the first place), TOO FREAKING BAD. “We don’t help with that!” You find out the help they promised you is gone with the wind, and then they paint you as evil because *gasp*! SHE USES WELFARE. Or, they promise you an open adoption, and the MINUTE your week where they let you change your mind is over, a steel wall just slams down.

Been there, honey, done that, on the “pregnancy crisis centers”. And seen it and had to put a friend back together on the adoption thing.

I think you don’t understand a damn thing about why we have maternity leave and why it’s necessary. For starters, the MINIMUM of time that it takes the female body to minimally heal after giving “normal” birth is six weeks. Even then, you’re not sleeping, in pain, are a liability on the road, and you and your baby are JUST starting to figure out “this parent stuff”. 

If you went through a c-section, which people seem to like to ignore is major abdominal surgery, you need even MORE time to heal.

Then there’s breastfeeding. You get to feed your child in the way you want, but after 6 weeks? HA. I don’t think so. Companies HATE that and will use the letter of the law to make it impossible for you to either run home/to daycare and feed the baby. This forces you to pump, which is even harder, because your 6 week old baby is now totally confused between where you are and what the bottle is. And don’t even try to work out a good pumping spot with your boss, because you WILL end up doing it in a bathroom stall or, at best, in your car with a blanket draped over you, while the people who go for smoke breaks every hour sit there and yell about “not fair”. So when you put your baby on formula, then you get to be the La Leche League’s supervillain.

Been there, done that too.

Then… did I mention the highway robbery that is childcare? We are so profoundly screwed up that working at Target for $7 an hour (after the actual corporation you worked for fires you for pumping and you can’t get anything else) means to the government that you are MAKING TOO MUCH and therefore do not require any assistance. You people think that every welfare recipient is sitting there with YOUR money, laughing about it while they take a bath of welfare checks and then go on vacation to Cancun. THIS IS NOT THE REALITY. The reality is that getting the help you need to feed you and your baby is harder to get then getting Romney to admit to all the times he’s lied.

Also, been there, done that.

And you feel terrible. You’re not only fully healed after only six weeks, but you’re still at the mercy of your hormones. Dropping your baby off at a daycare when they’re all of 6 weeks old is a terrible rip in your relationship for BOTH of you. You feel like you’re the worst parent in the world. The first time I dropped my daughter off, it looked nice and clean, but I saw a crawling baby put a worm that had managed to find its way in without notice in her mouth. And I’m talking about a place that was supposed to be “the best”, the place that I scraped every penny and lived on Ramen to get her in to. If I’d called in and said I was going to be late on my first day, they’d have fired me then. So I spent the whole way to work sobbing, and got there trying to look like I hadn’t.

So, why should we get with the rest of the world in this? Happier, healthier families. A time to heal. Time to figure you and your baby out, no matter if it’s a biological or adoptive situation. Less people driving around dead tired, being dangerous to those around them. Less moms feeling torn apart and convinced that they’re the worst mothers in the world because they had to put their tiny, helpless baby into the hands of people they don’t know and gamble that everything is okay. Less women who are lied to and then dropped by “crisis centers”. Dads getting to stay home for a bit too, to help out with everything. They deserve to get time with their babies just as much as women do.

Listen up, idiot: IT IS NOT A VACATION. Not in any way, shape or form. Those measly 6 weeks are you, in pain, trying to communicate with and navigate a relationship with a totally new human being who is dependent on you in every way, but who does everything either the very opposite of what you do or gets sick at the worst time. You spend those weeks covered in things you never thought you’d be, delirious from lack of sleep, often with nobody to help you, unable to clean the house like you did before, unable to take decent, daily showers no matter how you rig it, having to take 5-minute naps when the baby decides to nap, having to learn to shovel food in FAST when you’re hungry because that’s about the time the baby gets cranky, and the cherry on top of this shit cake? When you go back to work still raw from all of this and find out that you’ve either been fired (employers HATE moms; I’ve heard one gripe about “breeders”) or you are forced to take a lesser position. And THAT’S if your company fits all the rules of FMLA.

Don’t. You. DARE. Say “Maybe you should’ve thought about it before you had that baby, then”, because no matter how wanted the child is, THIS STILL HAPPENS. And right now, you’re talking to someone who was raped and then coerced to have the baby, by “pro-birth” people like you. 

So SHUT THE FUCK UP, because you have NO idea what you’re talking about. Until you’ve been a 19 year old forced to be a single mother, or even a pregnant woman and her partner trying to figure out how they’re going to live without her income for six weeks and the only thing they can think of is to leave the baby with their 80 year old grandmother who can barely see, let alone take care of a newborn, while mom has to go back to work after ONE WEEK…

THEN you can talk. For now, you can get the hell off your high horse and actually DO something about the deplorable conditions moms face here. 

Giving birth = HUGE thing, physiologically, mentally, and emotionally for everyone, including the baby. Not having to worry about how you’re going to feed that child because you have benefits, and knowing that your boss HAS to take you back = happier families and workers. Happier families and workers = better-off individuals. Happier individuals = better societies. Better societies = WE ALL WIN.

Now do you get it, miss pro-birth, or do I need to chop this into smaller words?

^^^

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

that is a takedown worthy of a goddamn academy award

beautiful


6 notes

tagged #RH Bill #Tito Sotto i wish your mother and father used fucking rubber #reproductive health #misogyny #women's rights #pilipinas #politics

napalmjoy:

NO, SENATOR SOTTO, IT IS NOT YOUR HOLY MISSION TO DETERMINE HOW WOMEN LIVE THEIR LIVES. IT IS NOT YOUR HOLY MISSION TO DETERMINE WHAT GOES ON IN OUR UTERUS (BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW EITHER UNLESS YOU SECRETLY HAVE A VAGINA; IT’S OKAY WE WON’T JUDGE YOU), AND IT IS CERTAINLY NOT YOUR HOLY MISSION TO DETERMINE WHEN WE HAVE SEX, OR WHAT GOES ON IN OUR VAGINAS.

ALL SENATORS WITHOUT VAGINAS* SIT THE FUCK DOWN

*unless you are trans, then you may remain standing


24 notes

tagged #RH Bill #women's rights #pilipinas #reproductive health #politics #FUCKING HELL ANTI-RH PEOPLE JUST MAKE ME WANT TO PUNCH THINGS #SPECIFICALLY THEIR CROTCHES

napalmjoy:



If you do not have a vagina and do not have babies coming out of it, sit down please and let the women decide what to do with their body parts. You’re not the ones stuck with pregnancies when “unfortunate mishaps happen because partner didn’t know how to put on a condom”, you don’t get stuck with the baby. Women will decide what to do with our body parts because we actually have them. You don’t have a vagina but have opinions? Great, share them please, freedom of speech is important. But don’t fucking BLOCK something VITAL to a woman’s health because you “think it will harm our morality.” FUCK YOUR MORALITY THAT DECIDES A WOMAN IS LESS AND NEEDS A MAN TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO WITH OUR BODIES. Letting a woman LIVE with her decisions is part of morality; it’s called equality and being a decent human being. Let us women decide what to do with our health and bodies. WE DIE FROM PREGNANCY AND ABORTION COMPLICATIONS, YOU DON’T. WE HAVE THE BABIES, YOU DON’T. SIT DOWN.


6 notes

tagged #rh bill #reproductive rights #women's rights #pilipinas

stainedpaper:

Di ninyo pagmamay-ari ang katawan at karapatan ng kababaihan, di nyo rin pagmamay-ari ang Inang Kalikasan ngayon. 

Kaya huwag nyo angkinin ang panahon, pwera na lang kung meron sa inyo na kumanta ng SOBRANG PANGIT na nangyari ito. Baw!


4 notes

tagged #RH Bill #reproductive health #women's rights #human rights #philippines #politics #pilipinas

In days, our Congress could take the pivotal step of securing universal access to birth control and maternal care for all Filipinos — but the powerful Catholic Church and its political allies could kill it unless we act now.

Over 70% of the Filipino population supports the Reproductive Health (RH) bill, but politicians fearful of Church pressure have for years ignored public opinion. The tide, however, may be turning. Experts say President Aquino’s brave endorsement of the Bill last week could convince other lawmakers to do the same – let’s tip the balance in our favor by telling Congress we won’t sit by idly while they kill the bill for the 14th year in a row.

The House of Representatives votes in 6 days and it’s likely to be close – if it dies here, we’ll have to wait one more year to even bring up the subject. Sign the urgent petition on the right now and forward widely – when we reach 30,000 signatures, we’ll deliver it straight to the House in Quezon City.


82405

tagged #marriage equality #abortion #henry rollins #women's rights #lgbtq #YES.

140475

tagged #women's rights #pro choice

jumblejo:

attention humans.